Bzzzzzz!

Not a long detailed post here today, but I saw something remarkable. A 32ish y/o male, working on a flooring project, sawed the back of his index finger from the base of the nail up to the knuckle by the hand essentially splitting it in two. Despite this, there was no major vascular damage, and all tendons were intact. 17 sutures later, and he was on his way home. This was the largest number of sutures the medical director had put into a patients finger before without having to repair tendons or arteries. And of course, like all good laceration patients, he came in about 10 minutes before we would normally close the clinic.

ED Stories, vol. 2

Today, waiting for a new chart, I overheard a gem from reception. A middle-aged man walked in, and when asked why he needed to be seen, he gave the following response.

"I need someone to screen me for ED."

I'm used to seeing patients at the office for treatment of ED... namely in the form of more Viagra. However, screening for ED? Technically I'm sure he was referring to the bloodwork panels to check thyroid levels, testosterone levels, blood chemistry, etc. But instantly I found myself envisioning the medical director showing him pornography. As my friend put it, a porn assay.

"And now? What do you think of this one? Any reaction? No? How about lesbian porn? Does that do it for you? STILL no? Well, then it's clear, you have ED. It's science."

It's Personal

Enter a fourty five year old, slightly balding man. His chart reads... nothing. Why? Because he refuses to disclose what he thinks is wrong with him to any medical staff save the medical director of the clinic.

It's game time: Who can figure out what the problem is?

If you guesed "Erectile Dysfunction" you're a winner! ED can be replaced by any other problem a man can have down there. It seems some guys link the health of their penis to their viability as a human male.